Young Wrexham

Loss

The feeling of loss can be terrible. You may be experiencing the loss of a pet somebody you are close to may have gone missing or your may have lost a friend. Sadly you might have lost a baby.

This section is divided into different topics to cover different types of loss

Pets

• When your pet dies, its normal to experience the same feelings as if a person had died. They feel like part of your family sometimes
• Losing a pet you have looked after and cared for can be very upsetting. It will take time for you to get used to your pet not being here anymore
• However sad and upset you are, remember that things will get better over time
• Share your feelings with your parents or carers as it is important not to let your feelings build up inside
• It may help to hold a memorial or ceremony for your pet - it will give you the chance to say goodbye
• You may want to have a look at the section on death on this website too. It details the emotional and physical effects of dealing with a death

Friends moving away

• As we grow older, our lives change and many people move to different places
• There are many reasons why people move away – it may be due to a break-up, a change in job, a new school or sometimes people want to start afresh in a new place
• It is completely natural for your friendship groups to change through school and more often when you leave school and start to make bigger decisions about your career and your relationships
• If your friend has moved away, this doesn´t mean you can´t be friends anymore. Although you might not see each other as much, you can still stay in touch by phone, email, social networks, by writing to each other or visiting
• It is very normal to feel sad and lonely when a close friend moves away. These feelings will pass with time though and you will soon make new friends at school or at work who you will become close to

Missing persons

• Around 200,000 people from Britain go missing from their families each year. However, most of them come home within a few days
• If you are missing a relative or loved one it can be a very worrying and distressing time
• Surround yourself with people you are close to. It´s important to stick together, to share your feelings and support each other
• If you want to trace a missing person, there are organisations that can offer you advice to try to get in contact with the person you are missing

Miscarriage

• A miscarriage is where a pregnancy ends suddenly and early. It feels like a very heavy period, you might experience severe cramping and stabbing pains and bleed heavily
• Most miscarriages happen in the first 14 weeks of pregnancy
• Sometimes people have early miscarriages when they didn’t realise that they were pregnant
• Some miscarriages happen for no apparent reason or as a result of an accident or medical condition. Miscarriage is not fully understood but happens to a lot of people. Most miscarriages are beyond your control, don´t blame yourself
• It can be an extremely upsetting time and you will need emotional support so look to your partner, family and friends to help you through it. Talk to your doctor and feel free to ask any questions you like
• Just because you have had a miscarriage, don’t think that you won’t be able to have children in the future, many women go on to have several children after a failed pregnancy

Termination/Abortion

• Terminating a pregnancy is a very difficult decision to make and so it is best to speak to a GP about your options first
• There could be many reasons for terminating a pregnancy. It could be that you feel you can´t cope with having a baby or it could be for medical reasons. Whatever the reason it is best to get support
• Terminations are a safe medical procedure and do not affect your ability to have children in the future.
• Going through a termination is not easy for anybody and so it is important you get all the support you need from your partner, family or friends
• Many women experience feelings of guilt, stress, depression and a sense of loss afterwards
• Some people feel strongly against abortions but remember, it´s your decision. It is your body so YOU decide
• Before making any decision, talk to your GP to get all the information you need
• There are a number of places you can contact for advice, facts, information and support. They are there to listen to you, so you don´t have to deal with the emotional strain on your own
• You may want to look at abortion in the health section of this website

Loss at birth

• Losing your baby at birth is a highly emotional experience and you will need lots of support to help you. As well as getting over the trauma of birth and all the hormones that come with it, you will also be grieving the loss of your baby
• If it is possible, you might find it helps to see and hold your baby. Talk this through with your partner or your doctor. You don´t have to do anything you don´t want to do
• The midwife can take a photograph for you to keep which can give you an opportunity to express your feelings and come to term with what has happened. Only do this if you are entirely comfortable with it and don´t feel pressurised
• It will take time for you to overcome the feelings you have. Be gentle on yourself and don´t feel disheartened if things don´t get better straight away. You are grieving
• It is vital you get all the support you need. Talk to those around you and let them know how you are feeling. You might want to consider having a funeral for your baby but this is a very personal choice you must make with your partner