Young Wrexham

Boyfriends & Girlfriends

A boyfriend or girlfriend is someone you are in a romantic relationship with and every relationship is different, a ‘romantic relationship’ can mean different things to different people - every relationship is different.

A romantic relationship could be simply spending time together, going out to places together, sharing affection and talking to each other. If you enjoy spending time together, you may find you become closer and your feelings may become stronger for him or her.

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend

• Don’t worry if your friends all seem to be getting boyfriends. Your relationships are personal to you, so don’t feel pressured into starting a relationship with somebody if you do not want to or don’t feel ready
• At the start of a relationship, it is normal to feel a bit nervous at the thought of being close to someone new. Relax and concentrate on what makes you feel happy about that person
• Don’t be too concerned by what other people think of you or your relationship
• Having a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t mean you have to have sex. Every relationship is different, so don’t feel you need a sexual relationship if you don’t feel comfortable or ready. Its normal to want to have sex, but boys might be ready to have sex before their girlfriends so it is important to respect their feelings too. Sex can be a very different experience for men than for women so be understanding and not pushy. Think about how you may feel if your relationship became a sexual one, would it change? Most people want to be in a relationship where they completely trust the other person before they decide to have sex
• The key to a happy relationship is good communication - keep talking to each other about how you feel
• Remember: don’ t rush into anything if you are unsure. Your relationship is personal to you – you have a choice

Boys and girls as friends

• It is normal to have friends of the opposite sex. Just because you are friends with a boy or a girl, does not mean they are your boyfriend or girlfriend
• See 'Going Out' for more information about friendships developing into relationships

Boys and girls are different

• Girls mature more quickly than boys, so they may have different ideas of what a boyfriend should be
• Good communication is the key to a happy relationship – so keep talking about how you feel

Your friends

• When you have a boyfriend or girlfriend it is natural to want to spend a lot of time together but its important not to neglect your friends. After all, they have been there for you longer than he or she has and if you spilt up, they will still be there for you
• You might try socialising together as a group, but if you spend a lot of time alone with your boyfriend or girlfriend, remember not to lose touch with your friends or doing the things you enjoyed before you got together

Your parents/guardians

Your parents or guardians might feel differently to you about your relationship. They might not be comfortable with you having a boyfriend or girlfriend for any number of reasons. Common ones include:

• You are ‘too young’
• He or she is ‘too old’
• They are not happy about someone spending a lot of time with you if they don’t know them
• They ‘don’t like him or her’ or think you can do better
• t may seem as though they are interfering but your parents/guardians are only looking out for you. Talking to them can help if you really like the person so find a quiet time when you can discuss the situation together calmly
• It may help for your parents or guardians to get to know your boyfriend or girlfriend. For example, suggest inviting them over for a meal or for all of you to spend some time together doing something